Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 7: P'Gell. Ahhh... P'Gell, the type of woman who breaks heroes with her voice and her hips, and sends them home in grinning defeat.

This district. It's rather tawdry in this day and age, and I'm sure it was rather tawdry back in its heyday as well, but at least it was more romantic back then, chock full of the Impressionist painters and amazing personalities. I once spent a day in the area, absolutely determined to take in a show at the fabulous (or at least famous) Moulin Rouge. I backed out of that, because it was apparent that the Moulin Rouge I loved was long gone. And it would have cost something like 600.00 to take in a show. Fuck. Really? The locals said, "Oh, the Moulin Rouge? That's for rich tourists and Japanese businessmen." It was clearly no longer the world for which P'Gell was named.

Depending on her mood, THIS is the life that P'Gell was named after, an area of "loose women" with loose morals. Of wine and dances and torch singers and bawdy shows and anyone likely to think absinthe was the goal for the day, and a painting and a garter belt was a bonus with the bottle.

Or, if she's in a different mood, THIS is the Pigalle district for which P'Gell was named. An area that hosted the Grand Guignol, where everything and everyone shrieked in the night, hoping for salvation they knew would never come.

If you knew P'Gell, you knew that even though she has one hand holding a cigarette, and one hand in her hair, that doesn't mean she isn't holding a loaded pistol behind her back.

So who is P'Gell? Is she the sultry seductress? Oh yes. Is she the dangerous backstabber? Yes, that's true as well. Either way, she's no damned tease. If you think she's going to let you in her bed, you're right? If you think she'll betray you, you're right. If you think she's going to fall in love with you, rethink your damn position boy-child, cuz P'Gell is too much woman for you. Even the Spirit took his knives in the back, though she meant her kisses more than ever before.

Things that P'Gell loves. 1: Diamonds. 2: The Spirit (citation needed)

All About P'Gell. 4 complete stories that reveal a truth that can be read from the design of this wonderful cover. P'Gell wants money, boys, and she's the hell you pay.

An unfortunately small image of the only P'Gell cosplay I could find. Ladies of fandom..... more P'Gell cosplay, please!

Eduardo Risso brings his take on P'Gell. His Spirit is way too smooth and far too unruffled, but that's P'Gell alright. Yes it is.

Have to toss a salute to Will Eisner, here. All this hue and cry about no strong women in comics, and Will was crafting strong women like P'Gell, and others that I'll touch on below, since waaaaay back in the beginning.

Will Eisner. Genius artist. Genius writer. Genius creator. Dead on sexy beast.

My studio-mate Chris Samnee knows how to tear up the Spirit's damn jacket. P'Gell is curves and the Spirit is jagged and a collision of lips is inevitable.

P'Gell had a simple way of dealing with problems. Start with a kiss, and if that doesn't get it done, a bullet will do. She didn't need many bullets.

A few pages from P'Gell's first appearance. The poor thing has a some troubles, here. So sad, because, as she says, deep down, she's just a shy, sensitive girl who dislikes bloodshed. Really. Truly. Don't... don't you believe her?

P'Gell was always willing to throw a little sex into a deal. Hell... she was mad when she was refused. How the hell could she trust someone who didn't want to sleep with her? WAY too suspicious.

Oof! Betrayed by P'Gell?!!! What are the chances?!!! (hint: 100%)

Even if she tried to kill them or rob them, P'Gell was still enraged at any man who "thoughtlessly" betrayed HER.

A P'Gell story was so full of betrayals that the characters could almost stand in one spot, and just wait until the betrayal train pulled back into their own station.

P'Gell. The poor, delicate, defenseless widow. Won't somebody take her in?

That's P'Gell's first appearance there on the left... and an image that has been repurposed several times during the years. P'Gell was sort of a master of repurposing things herself: this is a woman who, during her appearances in the Spirit newspaper strip... took NINE different husbands. A few of them even survived.

Darwyn Cooke takes his turn with P'Gell's adventures. Careful, you might get a little sex on you.

Original art for one of the THE P'Gell pieces. Sadly... this isn't from my own original art collection, because if I had enough money to buy a piece of art like this, I'd probably blow it all on women like P'Gell.

As long as we're here, we might as celebrate a few of the other women in the Spirit's life, all of which had a tendency to kiss him when he was tied up, and shoot him when he wasn't. Ahhh, college.

Ladronn illustrates a fairly normal situation in the Spirit's life. Again, though... gotta rough up that suit a bit.

A nice spirit cover from back in the days when it was being re-published by Kitchen Sink, when it was straddling the line between mainstream comic and underground magazine, when Eisner could open up the stories a bit more. As usual, Eisner found himself at the forefront of damn near everything. And, of course, the Spirit was finding himself beaten unconscious with dames all over him, this time with a feminine knee in a very uncomfortable place, though he seems okay with it. Oh Spirit, you silly.

Ellen Dolan. In the early days of the Spirit strip, Ellen was desperately in love with the Spirit, and would purposefully put herself into dangerous situations so that he would be forced to rescue her, and she could maybe land a kiss or two on his lips. In later years, her character matured, and rather than being frail and helpless, she swung all the way over to becoming mayor, in charge of the whole town. An ongoing relationship between Ellen and the Spirit was heavily implied, although it sure as hell didn't stop other women from making gunfire-fueled romantic attempts to win his heart, or at least his lips.

In the 1940's, if you found the Spirit tied up and you were a woman, you were REQUIRED to kiss him.

Ain't nothing but strength n' femininity here, boys. Close them jaws and move along.

The siren known as Lorelei Rox only had one appearance, but she's fondly remembered. I think she had some sort of role in the Spirit movie, but I also pretend the Spirit movie doesn't exist, so let's just move along.

Another femme fatale from the Spirit comics. This one is Powder, as in gunpowder. Another dynamic kisser with a mean streak. You know what you're in for when a woman is named after gunpowder and is depicted as ruling a spider's web.

Let's just have us a fight in a women's prison then, shall we?

I swear to God, the Spirit must not have been able to get it up unless he was tied up. The second he was in ropes there was always some sultry and alluringly dangerous woman planting her lips on his. This time it's Silk Satin, an ex-criminal who began working for insurance companies, traveling all over the globe to recover stolen gems and artifacts, always running into trouble and often running into the Spirit's lips. She often got the best of him in the end. I always thought she was the best match for the Spirit.

If you want to leave a strong dating impression, might I advise killing someone who's about to murder the boy you're after? We guys will definitely spring for a fine dinner afterwards, and then you can tie us up and kiss us.

Enter Silk Satin. Don't be fooled by the name... she's harder than nails and bulldog mean.

FIGHT! Satin and the Spirit tussle for the first time, and, to cover up the fight, they have their first kiss.

I love it when ladies go courtin'.

The Spirit kissed the criminal right out of Satin. Mostly.

Satin in the modern day. I love that it's so often the women who are the heroes of the Spirit stories. If you're starring with the Spirit, you damned well better be able to shoot straight, know how to throw a right cross, know how to throw a double cross, and deal with being the hero when the Spirit is out of action.

Doesn't hurt to have full lips and be a snappy dresser, either.

And let's not forget Sand Saref, the childhood friend of Denny Colt (alias, the Spirit) and espionage agent who has taken a few wrong turns in life and who does her best to make up for them, mostly. If only things had gone differently for her, she and Denny might have ended up with a house and a picket fence, but, as it is...? Well, a few stolen kisses during escapes, a few tears here and there, and an occasional bullet. Such is love.

Sand... I confess I am attracted to how you do not shoot me very much.

Ahh, P'Gell. We bid you adieu until such a time when we feel like crawling out of harbors in battle with the denizens of the underworld, and you're in the mood to heartlessly watch our bloody struggle.

Not that much longer until the June 5th release of my first novel. Here's what they look like. Hardcover. Embossed. Capable of instilling joy in the discerning reader. Those who preorder will be eligible to win a prize of some sort. Haven't decided what, just yet. How about... a original piece of Colleen Coover art depicting one of the main characters? How's that?

God DAMN it, Pat Ryan! You're hogging all the pretty ladies! And some of them are TERRY's love interests!

Alicia Quiqley posing for a Burma drawing by Milton Caniff. Cartoonists get ALL THE LADIES, yo.

A couple panels showcasing Burma's personal philosophies.

I rather love this strip. That look on Burma's face in the third panel, when she's being told to obey her master. Oh, Kiel. Did you forget who you were talking to? There ain't no leash on this one.

One of the things that I love about Burma and MANY other of Caniff's women is that they rarely were in situations like this. Burma wasn't a hostage. She was a con man, a grifter, and she was sharp as nails and not afraid to use sex as a weapon, and not afraid to show a soft side, either. She was a woman who could make a tough situation, and then fight her way the hell out of it. Caniff did a lot to fill the pages of the comics with smart women, at a time when it was full of frail airheads.

Lots of bad guys thought Burma was only a clever little fly caught in a spider's web, but she was a match for any and all of them.

This is one of the aspects I love about Burma. She has depth. She could be hard as stone, but sometimes she was just a happy little girl, so pleased that she was getting her way, lost in the love of life, and always willing to dance.

Mr. Terry Lee! What the hell you doing, boy? That's BURMA giving you a private dance. You were referred to as a "wide awake American boy," but you're failing here, son. You're failing.

Burma... FOUND OUT! Burma had a lot of different looks. She was a grifter, after all. A con man at heart.

I have to admit, if I was looking for a bit of feminine companionship, a bit of an adventurous affair, then a woman who disguises herself and who has dove off a boat to escape the British police and piracy charges... I'd at least buy the first couple rounds and see how it all turned out.

Dragon Lady break. Here we see one of the very few times that both Terry Lee and Pat Ryan were just plain beaten... overwhelmed. A dinner at the Dragon Lady's. Yikes!

Back to the blonde that can't stay out of trouble. And a look at how Burma sees Terry... as a way of recapturing the innocence she once had, but she couldn't stand if it ever returned. Still... nice to visit with, now and then.

Always willing to pull a con that gets her into trouble, and always pulling a con to get her the hell back out.

Another look at Burma's girlish side. Her moods were consistently inconsistent. Burma did almost everything well. Except waiting. She was never a fount of patience. Here she's seen being irritable, wondering if it's going to take gunfire or an apology and a kiss to get out of her lastest jam.

Caniff drawing Jayne Mansfield. I'm not a big fan of hers (she always looked like a caricature of an actual woman) but I would love to have that drawing!

A couple more posers, this time Esther Parson Caniff as Burma, and Charles Raab standing in for... uh, Yellow Peril, I guess.

A nice shot of Burma... the dangerous dame. Al Barker was one of the writers for the Terry & the Pirates radio show.

One result of my devotion to Burma. This is the pencils for a page from an upcoming, unannounced project with artist Ben Dewey. The cat is arguably the book's main character... and is named Burma.

April Kane. Rich and spoiled, but working her way through it... and willing to get her hands dirty to prove her love for Terry. Or Pat. Or Terry. Yes... definitely Terry.

Caniff working on an illustration of April Kane, using a model. Or... perhaps Caniff just working on an illustration when a beautiful woman suddenly come down through the trap door and threatens him with a gun. I hope his life was that exciting.

Stand back, boys. We're all suddenly way out of our league. It's the Dragon Lady. She the hardest of the hard. The baddest of the bad. The coldest of the cold. Only Pat Ryan could ever hope to win her love and devotion, and she hates him a little, for that.

The Dragon Lady and Raven Sherman, talking about romance, and Pat Ryan, shortly before Raven's ill-fated romance with Dude Hennick. Love the Dragon Lady's final line. "My good woman, you flatter yourself. If the Dragon Lady chooses to take a man from you ... you will never hear the bell at the end of the first round."

To hell with dreaming dreams... let's get to scheming schemes.

A properly vamped up Dragon Lady, here illustrated by Dominique Bertail.

Hard as nails. Soft as silk. Smart as a whip. Deadly with a pistol, and a deadly realist as well.

The Dragon Lady and Burma. We never knew either of their real names. Both women entered the scene as mysteries, and they left the same way. How wonderful.

I'd be remiss if I talked about Caniff's women but didn't mention the Steve Canyon comic strip. And Summer Olson.

Another of the ladies from the Steve Canyon strip. His women really lit up those cigarettes. I suppose it was an indicator of wildness and independence in its day, but now I just think of those poor lungs, and how those wretched cigarettes can ruin the taste of an otherwise perfect kiss.

"Caught in a trap" is an emotion Caniff could draw on all his women.

I'm not so foolish as to talk about Burma and Caniff's women and not mention Miss Lace, a character that Caniff developed for the US armed services papers during World War II, appearing in a strip called Male Call. She was a morale-raiser, and her venue allowed the strips to be a bit more risque than the average newspaper. It was still a product of the times, tame by today's standards, but she still smoldered and occasionally burst into wonderful feminine flame.

A couple examples of Miss Lace in the Male Call strips.

A Male Call tribute strip by Avril, one of my favorite illustrators.

Dammit! I want me a Burma button. All the cool kids have one!

One woman caught between two men, and not right for either of them. I eat this shit up.

Part of the enormous cast of Terry & the Pirates, with pretty ladies here and there, and friends and foes, with the Dragon Lady probably wondering how she can rule them all, and Burma wondering how she can steal all of the money, and a few of the kisses, and then make her getaway.

That's just how Burma rolls. Drop the mic.

Just LOOK at all the places that adventure is lurking! From ruined riverboats to abandoned houses and buried Aztec treasures. But then there's just plain ol' basements, beaches, and in the living room next to the record player. That's what I like about Nancy Drew, is that some of the mysteries are small, and some of them huge, but ALL of them needed solving with the application of courage and pluck and a simple but effective wardrobe.

If I was a girl, this is exactly how I would dress and accessorize. As it is, I'll just go bald and glance at the note I have written on my wrist, reminding me not to scratch myself in public.

If this was for a boy detective the images would be of guns, knives, a compass, a noose, barbed wire, an attack dog, three bottles of liquor and a coded note that reveals the password to BoobsAreNoLongerAMystery.com

Kicking it, Nancy Drew style.

An unfortunate look at how, from my opinion, Nancy's tastes in clothes have degenerated over the years. Sadly, it's a reflection of the rest of society. Also... fuck you, 1990's.

Now THAT'S how a lady detective should dress, dammit!

This parody joke thing is a bit too close to the truth. I LOVE the girl detective genre, and the girl-adventurer, or girl reporter, and so on... but I only love them when the characters are dynamic and brash and brainy. Too many times, though, the characters are portrayed as helpless / frail girls caught up in events that their poor little minds just cannot comprehend. Nancy Drew has been written in both ways over the years.

Edward Stratemeyer, the man who created the Hardy Boys, but then wanted to sell as many books to the ladies, so he then created Nancy Drew, an instant success. Good ol' Edward was definitely in it more for the money, as he wasn't all that enamored of women out in the world. Dames belong in the home, don'tcha know.

I still think the early days of Nancy are the best. She was as talented as any boy, and as brash and daring as anyone on the planet. And I love this classic art. In later volumes, Nancy's personality would undergo revisions, so that sometimes she was far more passive, simply falling into mysteries and having them (oh gosh, let's HOPE!) work out by luck. In the early stories, though, and in some time periods since then, she was far more apt to solve the crime by herself, even if that meant taking the tiger by the tail. In fact, she HOPED she could take that tiger by the tail.

Whoops! Bondage. I like how the two people in the porthole are looking in at Nancy with expressions of, "Horrors! Young ladies these days!"

Stratemeyer created Nancy Drew, as I mentioned, coming up with her name (chosen from other possibilities, such as Stella Strong and Diana Drew) and crafted the first few basic story outlines, but it was Mildred Wirth Benson who actually wrote the majority of the early books. Like all subsequent Nancy Drew authors, Mildred used the pen name of Carolyn Keene.

Mildred during her career, with a few of the many books she wrote.

On the left is Harriet Adams, the daughter of Edward Stratemeyer, who was responsible for writing some of Nancy's adventures, and also for editing the great number of them. A fantastic history of Nancy's origins is in the book on the right.

Another Kate Beaton strip. Love that guy's eyes in the final panel.

The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew... not only both created by Edward Sratemeyer, but all three of them finalist in the fluffiest hair world finals.

A modern look at Nancy Drew. Who owns Nancy these days? I could probaly be talked into writing a comic book version, depending on the artist I could work with.

There's a whole series of Nancy Drew video games. Tempted. Very tempted.

Just LOOK at all those clues! I would RAMPAGE my way through this room, finding clues like a BOSS.

As always, love is the greatest mystery of them all.

Like I mentioned before, I think Nancy accessorizes in a way that lends itself towards mystery. This doll doesn't come with a gun. It comes with a flashlight so that Nancy can find things in the dark, and it comes with a magnifying glass so that she can better understand what she has found. There's no gun, or poison, or portable shark. This means the story is going to be about adventure, and about character, which is more fascinating to me in a mystery story.

Another of the early printings. Love her outfit, and the simple suspense. Probably one of the reasons I like "teen" stories is because it removes the sex aspect. You can't dress Nancy Drew like Powergirl. You can't say, "She's in tenth grade and DAMN that's a fine ass!" So... with that removed, the mystery can have more focus, the adventure becomes key. Don't get me wrong, I also like stories about women with alluring rumps and my editors have nominated me for the "Writer for whom I'll most likely need to edit out some pervy moment" award... it's just that it's nice, sometimes, to read a simple story about teen adventurers.

Nancy Drew cosplay. Sweater. Skirt. Flashlight. Done.

Nancy done got all design-y. Love the image, but I'm glad this isn't who Nancy Drew is. I like her as a simple girl, the everyday character that we can all aspire to, as luck as we have a bit of brains, courage, and pluck. Also, I couldn't BEAR to be seen with that purse, and I can't walk in heels.

And now we ALL have that song going through our heads.

Here's where it all began for Nancy. An old clock. And a secret. I like this image because it gives another look at how Nancy changed over the years.

One last image by the incomparable Kate Beaton.

That's it for now. Couldn't resist putting in this poster for a bookstore event. I think it's really well done, and encapsulates everyhting that Nancy Drew literature stands for: a pretty young girl, brash enough to seek out the mystery, because she simply has to KNOW.

Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 10: Wonder Woman

Luckily, everyone was visiting their relatives on other planets, and there were no casualties, excepting only a sense of realism.

Anybody can aspire to the ideal of Wonder Woman. Anyone.

Art by Ming Doyle, showing that Wonder Woman can step away from the iconic costume and still be the icon.

Wonder Woman is an icon that bridges the ages. This girl and this woman both have their own versions of Wonder Woman in their heads, maybe riding unicorns and tossing tanks, kissing movie stars and eating pizza. I'd bet neither of them have intricate mental stories concerning devious gods that are using sex to strip Wonder Woman of her powers and ruin her life and destroy her friends in an elaborate revenge scheme.

I am Wonder Woman and I fight sharks. Because... FUCK YEAH!

Love the Lucy Knisely art of "all women are Wonder Woman."

For the record, THIS is Wonder Woman to me. She's soft, she's sexy as hell, and when she needs to be, she's harder than all the nails that hold hell together, and... there's the door, spaceman.

Where it all began for Wonder Woman. Her first appearance, wherein the members of the Justice Society of America meet Wonder Woman, who has the speed, strength and abilities to best any or all of them in combat, and she is deemed worthy enough to... stay behind and be the JSA's official secretary. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. No post on the Amazon princess is complete without a tribute to the woman who, to me, defined the softness, nobility, and overwhelming strength of the character. And, yes... a major crush of my youth.

Yep. Major crush.

Where it REALLY all began. The earliest known image of Wonder Woman, just in the design stages as H. G. Peter and Marston were developing the character.

DC's "Big Three"... maybe my all time favorite image of them. I think this quickly and nicely encapsulates their powers. We have Superman as the "boy scout," with powers to match his nobilty. Batman is turned away from the camera. And Wonder Woman is at the forefront; she has the quiet strength to match them both, but her quiet strength is NOT timid; she's a brash and wonderful woman who loves life and loves humanity, and laughing. She wasn't just raised to be a warrior, she was raised to believe that there are things worth fighting for.

The plane! The plane! (art by Dick Giordano)

The first issue of Sensation Comics, Wonder Woman's very own title. Once she was out of the gate, she was the star of Sensation Comics, and had her own title in Wonder Woman, and appearances in many other titles. She was easily the most popular female comics character in the golden age of comics.

And yes... the first decade of Wonder Woman was RIFE with fetish material. Lots of spanking and bondage. I mean... LOTS of it.

The thing is, all that bondage and spanking doesn't bother me. It was all in good fun, and I HUGELY prefer that to most modern day comics where good-natured fun has been replaced with sleazy sniggering, and laughing bondage has been replaced with torture porn.

I'll take this over bloody ropes and scalpels to the eyes, please.

A cover with Wonder Woman lassoing / fighting Wonder Woman. Oh, golden age fan service, thank you so much!

Some of my favorite Sensation Comics covers. The middle one is the earliest Wonder Woman comic that I personally own.

I'm glad that Wonder Woman, in the midst of all her ass-kicking, still has time to rescue the occasional damsel in distress.

Wonder Woman can play you like a puppet, and she's fast enough and strong enough to grab your god-damned propeller. Surrender, NOW!

I've always rather liked the H.G. Peter Wonder Woman. She nicely rode that line between feminity and flat out muscles.

I am willing to dress in drag if I could hang out on Paradise Island. People... I AM WILLING TO SHAVE MY MUSTACHE!

Really like this Phil Noto illustration. Wonder Woman seems incredibly feminine and incredibly powerful, stuck on a razor edge between kindness and a menace that you Do Not Want To Test.

Falling in love. No escape from this fate. Completely satisfied with this.

Love how Darwyn Cooke can so quickly capture the grace and strength of her character.

The grand total of shit this woman can't handle clocks in at... ZERO.

Brian Bolland's Wonder Woman covers defined her look for a generation, and deservedly so.

I always think of two things when I see this cover. The first is that it quickly and wonderfully illustrates the character of Wonder Woman, because you CANNOT beat Batman without over-powering him, AND out-smarting him. You have to do both, and Wonder Woman did it. And the second thing I think about when I see this cover is that Batman seems to be thinking, "Hmmm, this hurts, but... I'm strangely okay with it."

Oh Great Hera... would you mind if I moved away from home and didn't ALWAYS have all my stupid divine relatives visiting me, creating overly complex storylines and deleting my sense of individuality and character development? Kay? Thanks!

And... bringing it all to a close is a piece of art from my own Wonder Woman... Colleen Coover.

Favorite Female Characters in Literature #10c: Lois Lane

"I'm Lois Lane. A reporter from Metropolis." And from those words the story can go in a million different directions. I've made no secret that I love detectives and reporters in fiction... especially female detectives and reporters. Why is that? Simple... too many female characters are just there to play off the "real" hero... the dashing man who solves problems with his fists, money, and penis. But when "detective" or "reporter" is added into the mix... a purpose is established... a role is presented. Lois is DOING something... she's an active part of the story from the very start, and that's important for the purposes of characterization.

Take a look at this, for instance. This is a drawing of the "New Frontier" Lois Lane... a characterization that I like quite a lot. THIS is the Lois that I love. She's dressed for the field... for work. She's on the phone, calling in a story, making a difference in the world. And her boots are MUDDY. She's been there, in the field, at the forefront of the action. That's Lois Lane.

Her weapons are bravery, gumption and sass, and you do not stand a chance.

A Joe Shuster drawing of a holy shit and va-voom Lois Lane. No wonder Clark always acted like an idiot when she was around.

Lois's first appearance is in this little beauty. I... umm. do not have one of these in my collection. YET.

The first official cover appearance of Lois Lane, one of comic's most dynamic, feisty and take-no-shit women. Seen here being kidnapped, of course.

A page from Action Comics # 1, with the very 1st appearance of Lois Lane. Note that she's giving him shit from the very beginning. And she SHOULD have treated him as such. With our knowledge of how Clark Kent is Superman, we're in on the joke, but for years the only Clark Kent that Lois knew was the persona that he presented... that of a weak-willed idiot who apparently can't match his pants to his jacket.

If I had a secret identity, I'd blow it the first time somebody called me a weak-livered pole-cat. I do NOT take that shit.

A couple more panels from Action # 1, featuring Lois's very first kidnapping!

Lois's very first rescue!

The start of one of my favorite love affairs in comics, even if Superman has a look of, "I am about to do things to you that will seriously not even be allowed on Tumblr," and Lois has a look of, "I... I... might be okay with that."

Hands down the creepiest Lois Lane panel of all time. This is from the 1978 Super Dictionary that starred DC characters and is probably the best thing ever produced by men who were on LSD and thought everyone else was. Here, the Justice League sneaks into Lois's bedroom. Why? Just to watch her sleep. Talk about her sleeping. Watch her. For hours. Just... watching.

Dictionary, you have done a piss-poor job of explaining a box, and you have given me no clue WHY Lois has one on her head.

To be fair, it wasn't just Lois who ended up with something strange on her head.

Ha ha! Women are ALWAYS afraid of rats and mice, right? Supergirl is probably about to have a SUPER fainting spell, or a case of the vapors.

This one is kind of famous. It later became canon when, in the comics, it was established that Luthor actually HAD stolen forty cakes. That son of a bitch.

I don't know how many deadlines I've missed because I've been taking giant teaspoons to my local Giants In Need dropoff center.

Super Dictionary, one day you WILL explain to me why Lois had a box on her head, WHY the giant needed a measuring spoon of any type, and WHY the hell Atom decided to hide in one of Hawkman's sandwich.

Clark fills his hat with ink, and then, "Okay, Lois... dunk your head in." Yep... this panel is a fine intro to how many interesting drugs were available to writers in the 1960's.

For a while there, if you didn't have an advanced degree in fetish imagery, you weren't allowed to design a Lois Lane cover.

To be fair, it wasn't just Lois. The DC comics of the late sixties and the early seventies were a mess of fetish art. I kind of love them.

Lois has spent an inordinate amount of her life worrying that Superman would marry Wonder Woman. Poor girl. It's hard to compete with Diana, especially when Superman is so normally completely unaware of Lois's feelings, owing to how he's kind of a jerk.

The jerk at work. Superman decides to marry Wonder Woman, and who does he call? Lois Lane. He decides that a woman who has professed her love for him a thousand different times is THE person to let the world know that he's casting her off and marrying another woman. Surprised he didn't ask to borrow some money so he could buy condoms.

One of the first instances of what would become a common theme... Lois becoming just as powerful as Superman. I love this particular cover because Lois has an expression of, "Oh, you're MY bitch, now!" And Superman has an expression of, "Uh-oh. I'm HER bitch, now!"

A modern day look at the "Lois with Superman's powers" storyline. Done very well here in All Star Superman... a fantastic title by the uber-team of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely.

Does anyone else find this panel oddly erotic? No? Oh. Well... uhh... ME EITHER! Can... can we just forget I said anything?

Phyllis Coates in her roll as television's Lois Lane. I love the fitting expressions on the two of them. Lois is tense, worried, concerned. Superman is smug and smirking. There ya have it.

My own foray into writing the adventures of Lois Lane. I shared writing credits with Colleen Coover on a Lois Lane story in this comic. It was fun. LOVE writing Lois (I'd write a Lois Lane ongoing in a second) and it was an interesting exercise to write in tandem with Colleen, rather than just having her illustrate a story I'd written.

A panel from the comic, with art by Amilar Pinna. Astute readers will note that I was listening to a lot of Nick Cave when I wrote this story. (I still am)

An ALL WEDDING issue, featuring Lois' schemes and dreams to marry Superman. I like her nonplussed expression as she signs a deal with the devil. Oh, Lois... you're smarter than that.

Lois resorting to drugs so that Superman will love her. Like ya do.

The sound effect for Lois turning into a black woman is MMMMMMMMMM.

Jesus Christ. Superman... we readers should not have to vote on this. You gave Jimmy a signal watch. You gave your DOG a signal watch. You gave them out to HOBOS. Give Lois a damn signal watch, you jerk.

Favorite Female Characters in Literature #10b. Betty & Veronica. I'm sorry that I nearly forgot to put you on this list, ladies! Especially since you both like dating redheads, such as ME! Well, okay... I used to be a redhead before I became a baldhead, but I grow a better mustache than Archie, and I'm juuuust as willing to date you both for seventy years.

People tend to believe that Archie has been giving Betty & Veronica the run-around for seventy-some years, but the girls started out giving Archie fits, teasing him mercilessly. They were very much the ones in charge of the game. It's still somewhat true today, but the dynamic has changed somewhat. I prefer these classic version from the 1940's and 50's. The comic pictured above is the 1st issue of the run, establishing where things stood right the hell away.

Here's the 2nd issue... just to drive the point home, in case readers missed the subtly of "boys used like puppets" on the cover of the 1st issue.

Run, Archie! RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

More evidence of Betty & Machiavelli.

Oh wait. Never mind, Archie. TOTALLY worth it.

Oh. Back to the theme. Poor Archie.

Betty's first appearance is in this little Golden Age gem... Pep Comics # 22. As you can see, Archie Comics (then known as MLJ Magazines) had a slightly different focus back in those days. And, yes... I said BETTY'S first appearance in this magazine. Despite how, in these days, you can't mention one without the other, Betty and Veronica actually first appeared months apart. This means Betty had her chance with Archie all alone. If she'd only gone for it then, she wouldn't have had to put up with decades of running around.

Here's the comic where the rivalry was born. Veronica's first appearance, just a few months after Betty.

I can't resist posting a few more of these early Pep covers, featuring the Shield, Hangman, and the Black Hood. I'd love to write these characters some day. Or Archie and the gang too, of course.

Man, I love this stuff. Look at that cover for issue # 34!

Issue #36 had the very first Archie cover. If the Shield and the Hangman knew that the boy from Riverdale was about to boot them out of their own comic, they might have tossed Archie to the bottom of that frozen lake.

Some really early Betty & Veronica, in their straight up vamp days. This is from a story by golden age great, Irv Novick.

There's only one thing to do with these screwy dames.

I'm a sucker for vintage fashions, so looking through the decades of Betty and Veronica is fascinating to me. And... I love this look back in time, with the girls commenting on how SHORT their skirts are. Hell YEAH, short! They barely go down past their knees! Saucy!

A fun piece of jungle-themed Archie art, by the great Dan DeCarlo. Love how Betty is the hero. That's one of the things that's great about Betty & Veronica. As much as it would be an easy trope to fall into, Betty & Veronica aren't just there for Archie's romantic amusement. He's there for THEIR amusement (and torment) and they have individual lives and personalities. They don't just play off Archie; they have character.

More fashion fun, with the mod look taking over, and hot pants heating things up.

Another Dan DeCarlo specialty piece, this one wiht the Archie gang drooling over Saturn Girl at the ice cream shoppe. Speaking as an Archie fan with a major appreciation for Saturn Girl (oh, okay, it's a crush / fetish) I really love this artwork.

Just like in my earlier Millie the Model post, you can't talk about Betty & Veronica without talking about the two gentlemen above, Dan DeCarlo and Stan Goldberg. Both men made fantabulous contributions to the best of the wacky teen comedy genre. And both of them knew how to draw the ladies.

Evidence of lady-drawing. A duo of pin-ups.

Dan in particular was known for drawing good girl art. He wasn't only contributing to the wacky teen genre, and the "models" genre of comics, he was also working as a gag cartoonist specializing in half dressed (or undressed) ladies. His cartoons are highly sought after. I know, because I have sought them.

A tame example of Dan's cartooning work. A word of warning... there is nudity below, so cover your eyes if you are of weak constitution, or prone to fainting, as we all know that naked women are the worst evil in all the world. Well, I consider them the best evil, but holy shit do people get up in arms. Oh... I suppose you shouldn't scroll much farther down if you're at work, either. Hope I'm not too late. If I am, and your boss is yelling at you right now... sorry about that!

Oop! Getting a little risque, here... Dan!

ZOINKS! When I'm compiling images for these posts, I always avoid the naked images from such-n-such amateur artist that clutters up the internet. Can't possibly look up Wonder Woman without finding her, shall we say... kissing other members of the Justice League. This one of Betty & Veronica is by Dan himself, though, and it's such a good-natured fun and wholesome piece that I couldn't resist posting it. Besides, one of the things I love about Betty & Veronica is that they've always been open to adventure, freedom, to expanding the boundaries of Riverdale. And hell... with the amazing Kevin Keller in the lineup, who knows what's next in Riverdale. All kidding aside, I do want to thank Archie Comics for seventy years of fun, and for how, lately, they've brought a further step of acceptance to the LGBT community. Hats off, folks.

For this post, I'm going to show every golden age cover appearance by the Blonde Phantom. At least the ones I know of. I own copies of a few of these, and they're cheesy four-color fun. The above issues are the first of Blonde Phantom's own title run, which began with issue #12, continuing on from another title. Issue # 13 was the first Blonde Phantom comic I ever saw. It was in Oak Leaf comics is Mason City, Iowa, and it was my first inkling that there was a whole AGE of comics and superheroes of which I knew nothing. That made a big impression on me.

I think what draws me to the Blonde Phantom is the noir feel of her character, the fact that she's just a beautiful woman in a dress... not a costume, and she has to use her smarts to make it through the day. And, yeah... she's a knockout in that dress.

Blonde Phantom covers tended to be talky. I kind of miss the old way of doing covers, with the characters having conversations n' such. It's sometimes corny, but at the same time it's more interactive, and certainly more interesting than the generic "group of people trying to look tough while posing for the camera" covers that abound these days.

Everybody used to dress better for crime back in those days.

One of the main jobs for a golden age cover artist was, "How shall I fuck with perspective in THIS cover?"

The last issue of Blonde Phantom, as well as All Select # 11, which is her first appearance. Blonde Phantom took over the title completely with the next issue. Whenever golden age publishers wanted to start a new title, it was customary to just continue numbering from a cancelled title. This was an end-around for having to pay higher postal rates for new titles.

I love this first cover, with all the guys showing off for the pretty blonde. And I love how Sub-Mariner is having the "Aquaman" problem of showing off that he's the Lord of the Seas. I know that whenever I go a' courting, I always try to carry a dead shark on my shoulder. You girls love that, right?

Really the only "hostage" cover for Blonde Phantom, and then an issue of All Winners. Love the design, here

Okay... it's not Blonde Phantom, but as long as I'm here I might as well do a quick tribute to other "lost" female characters from the golden age. Sun Girl comics are quite rare. The series only ran for three issues. I have a copy of the third issue, but this one's my favorite cover.

Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 11: Millie the Model.

Millie is the frontrunner for all the "models" in comics, but rest assured that this blog goes out to all the pretty ladies in the pretty clothes. I grew up reading a lot of these comics, and there were a LOT of them to read. Millie herself had HUNDREDS upon HUNDREDS of issues of her various titles, and there were a huge wealth of other models with stacks of comics. I wish this was still a genre. Stories of pretty ladies having simple adventures. Not every story needs to have explosions and blood.

Millie sure does look good for how long she's been around. We have to go all the way back to 1945 in order to find her first appearance. Good thing beauty is eternal.

One of my all-time favorite logo designs.

Two bits of "wisdom" on the very same page, where we learn that learning to make herself more attractive is one of THE most important things in a woman's life, and then three panels later Millie's father makes the sad realization that no man can win against two women. Poor ol' guy. Oddly, the closest superhero equivalent that I can think of to the "models" comics is the old Fawcett comics with the Marvel Family. Not that the exploits are the same... just the pacing and the basic humor of the stories... stories that are more based on the quirks of human characters rather than who can shoot the most lasers from their ears, or punch the most ninjas in a phone booth.

The model comics always had fashion pages for clothes or hairstyles, etc. Many of them were reader submitted. Even during the course of a story there would be captions such as "Millie's fabulous frock submitted by Mr. Anton Lavey of San Francisco, California." Okay... I made that particular one up, but you get the picture. I so wish that today's comics would benefit from reader's submissions. I get a little sick of how often superheroes just hang out in their costumes. Can't you throw on a damn shirt? Reader submissions would take care of that shit, straight up.

The Millie comic books had a lot of different looks over the decades they were published, as did Millie herself.

This is one of my favorite covers, with Millie, Chili, Jill and Toni vamping it up. The "mod" period is one of the great periods for the model comics.

Millie pops back up in the Marvel Universe from time to time. Here's an appearance from Defenders # 65, where she's catching up with her old friend, Patsy Walker. Patsy, of course, managed to have a looooong career as a model in the comics, and then managed a jump into superhero comics as Hellcat. I'd personally love to do something similar with Millie. I did a bit of it already with Chili, Millie's rival.

Another version of Millie, this one from "15-Love" ... where Millie is a teen tennis star.

My own love for Millie is well documented, of course. I had a blast when Marvel contacted me to do the "Models Inc" comic... and I put in as many of the models as possible.

I made sure to use Jill Jerold. She wasn't only a fun character in the model comics, but was also the first black character that I can remember in comics that DIDN'T have "Black" as part of her name.

I also put Millie into a story in Age of Sentry, the book that Jeff Parker and I worked on together. Soooo much fun. This image is from the cover, illustrated by the amazing Dave Bullock.

The interior art for the Sentry story was by my #1 supergal, Colleen Coover.

Colleen and I also collaborated on another Millie story, this one with all our favorite Marvel women (well... a LOT of them) including the Enchantress, who is being her usual naughty self. Millie and the others team up with Thor to end her sexy evil schemes.

That's Millie, magically disguised as Thor. Hey... they got the same hair, right?

A quick cover gallery section. I could post a million of these things

Going to have a little fun, here, and reprint a few panels from one of my favorite Millie comics, and one of my favorite team-ups in Marvel Comics history... the time that Millie teamed up with Jack Kirby to pose for monster comics. Here you can see the models talking about Jack, and how SCARY he must be, if he draws all these comics. And then a panel where, gulp, Millie is assigned to pose for him. You can also see that scheming Millie already hatching a plan to get that job for herself.

Millie wisely decides to get the HELL out of there, but, as the story unfolds, she can't escape her fate.

So, it's off to Jack Kirby's house. Probably a house of horrors! I like how Millie envisions Jack as being a robot. Kind of fitting, really, as Jack could draw up to six million pages a day. Obviously a robot.

Millie gets a little scare, but it turns out that Jack is a pretty nice guy. It also turns out that he reads poetry. It also turns out, strangely, that he doesn't look much like Jack Kirby at all. I love this time period of comics (this was published in 1962, when Marvel's big explosion just starting to really take form) because Stan Lee and the members of Marvel's bullpen were always popping up in the comics. Had a sense of fun to them. Not sure why they couldn't make Jack look like Jack, here... though. This story was published in Millie the Model # 107. I dropped in the cover up there in the cover gallery.

You can't (or at least SHOULDN'T) talk about Millie and the other models without talking about Dan DeCarlo (left) and Stan Goldberg. These two guys did about a hundred million pages of the material. Take a bow, you two big damn ink-studs. Not many guys can say they made their living by drawing pretty girls. I'll be talking about these two in an upcoming post, and one of the other projects these fellows illustrated.

An example of Stan's original art. I own PILES of his original art (not this one, unfortunately) including an original Millie cover. It used to be that his pages were fairly cheap. It's changing, though, as collectors begin to give him the respect he deserves.

With Valentine's Day just a few days away, peeking out from under the blankets, it seemed like this would be a fitting image to close the post on America's favorite model, Millie Collins. Thanks for all the laughs, pretty lady.

Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 12: Fantomette

Three Fantomette book covers. I love the simplicity of design. I'm afraid I'm often a bit irritated at how American comics have this unstoppable juggernaut of an opinion that MORE art means BETTER art.

It's interesting how many times my favorite comics remind me of Tintin. That would lead to a conclusion, I suppose, that I'm a big fan of Tintin. Incidentally, I'm a big fan of Tintin.

Of all the characters that are on this list, Fantomette is probably the one least familiar to American readers. Fantomette lives in the fictional city of Framboisy, , and is the alter ego of 12(ish) year old Françoise Dupont. She's a crime-fighter, but has no superpowers. Despite this, she's often matching wits with, and taking down the world's worst villains, such as the superbly nefarious Silver Mask. She's rather a Batgirl character, I suppose. She even has a scooter. I love characters like this... Nancy Drew characters that have to go on nothing but pluck and perserverance. And... I admit... some of my love for the character stems from one of my all-time favorite costume, designed by the artist Joan Hives.

Good costume designs are important to me, which is why Saturn Girl nearly made this "top 25" list. And I'm speaking of her original costumes, which I think are some of the best ever designed. She would later go on to star in some of the worst costume catastrophes this side of Hawkeye.

Georges Chaulet (1931 - to date) along with his creation, Fantomette. Beginning in 1960, Georges wrote basically everything for Fantomette, fifty episodes in all. Interestingly, he wrote 49 episodes, and then took a break of 18 years before being persuaded to write the 50th, in 2006.

And yes, it's all in French for the most part.

Hey! Even though it's in French, I can read this page!

Because not everyone is familiar with this character, I'm going to quickly introduce some of the main cast. The first and foremost, of course, is Françoise Dupont, a high school student who fights crime in the guise of Fantomette. Her name, incidentally, is a loving homage to Fantomas.

A wartime Fantomas comic strip. Fantomas rather kicks ass. He is also, rather obviously, the inspiration for the Fantomex character running around in X-Men these days.

A quick look at some of the characters in Fantomette, including both Fantomette herself, and Francoise, her other identity.

Joining Francoise are Boulotte, who has a cooking / food obsession.

And there's Ficelle, who is a bit of a troublemaker.

Mademoiselle Bigoudi, the teacher, also seen above yelling at Ficelle.

Uh-oh! It's a bad guy. Le Masque d'Argent.

Fantomette and her cat, Mephisto.

And this somewhat shady looking man is Oeil de Lynx, Fantomette's crime-fighting partner, a journalist who works at France Flash.

Probably my favorite image of Fantomette, because it's MINE. This is a watercolor that Colleen Coover made for me.

Three more Fantomette covers. I think these three show that, while there HAVE been changes to her look over the years, the designs have remained fairly true to the initial costume.

I love the design of this cover. So much information presented in understated ways. And the colors are perfect.

"Fantomette Risks All!"... another comic page of the girl detective. "Flotch" is such a wonderful sound effect.

More art from various places. I love the bright colors, and how the young girls are young girls. Too often, I think, in American comics... young girls (and young boys, too) are depicted as physically much older than they are claimed to be. A fourteen year old girl in American comics is often drawn as if she was in her early twenties. Robin, the Boy Wonder, looks like he's in college. I remember when Kitty Pryde was first introcuded, though... and I can remember thinking it was very well done. Byrne's art had her as some gangly teenager, rather than a blistering seductress, as so often is the case. .

Blessed as she was, with all the MIGHTY MUSCLE of a young teenage girl, Françoise often found herself VERY QUIETLY sneaking around.

More covers and art... coming down in parachutes, soaring upwards in chairs, and revealing secret identies... usual life for a teenage girl in France, I'm assured.

EPIC battle. This ranks up there with Hulk vs. Thor.

I have no idea what this art is from, but I find it charming as all hell.

Adolescente! Détective! Impétueux ! Je suis Fantomette ! Au revoir !