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Brand New Bandette Story: FREE

Huh? Is THIS yet another free Bandette story? Why, yes it is! How can Colleen Coover and I afford to keep putting out free Bandette stories? Well, it’s very simple. Here’s the money we made on Bandette LAST WEEK ALONE.

Now, we used most of the money on our project to build a giant-size Hong Kong Phooey robot and on what could only be called a pancake orgy, but we still have enough left over to live off of, so why not do something nice for our readers? Thus… a free story concerning Monsieur, Bandette’s mysterious rival! The story is written by me and illustrated by my friend Alberto Alburquerque.

Monsieur! Who IS he?

Hey! That’s the question I just asked! Will the question ever be answered?

That’s what I thought.

Still, CLICK HERE FOR THE FREE MONSIEUR STORY by Alberto Alburquerque

And… for more free stories featuring the cast of Bandette, don’t forget…

the free Pimento story by Jennifer Meyer

And… the free B.D. Belgique story illustrated by Steve Lieber

And… the free story on Manon, Adalind and Kiyomi (the 3 Ballerinas) by Jonathan Case

And… the free Heloise story by Tina Kim

 

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My Favorite Comic Strip of the Day

Comic is by the uber-talented Seo Kim. You can check out her tumblr RIGHT HERE.

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What Comic Book Writer Would You Choose To Help Fight Zombies?

I know that some of the greatest questions mankind faces are, “When the zombies attack, will I be prepared? Will I be found standing with my Mark III Nuclear Decapitator, or that broken spatula from my kitchen? Will Fate team me with Ace Rockcrusher, the head of US Special Forces, or a comic book writer?”

Well, I’m here to tell you it’s probably going to be a comic book writer, but the good news is, we’re a feisty and inventive lot, and we hate zombies as much as Ace Rockcrusher and his cadre of sultry machete-wielding supermodels. So you’re okay with us! But… which comic writer is best? I’ve prepared this handy little guide.

PRO: Jeremy is a founding member of our “Pitch n’ Bitch” team. We get together and talk about our pitches, our editors, and whether we should have more beer. So, with Jeremy you get a whole team of dangerous writers. And some of the zombies you fight are going to be editors, and if you’ve heard some of what Jeremy says about editors, you know you’re going to be okay.

CON: Perhaps too handsome. Will inevitably cause lady zombies to congregate. Not cool to be the wingman in a zombie apocalypse.

FINAL GRADE: B-

PRO: Kurt is an amazing fountain of knowledge, and will know how to build weapons from scratch, like MacGyver.

CON: In the midst of desperate battle, Kurt is less likely to tell you how to build a napalm garrote than he is to mention the differing abilities of Legion Flight Rings in the post Zero Hour continuum.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: Her ability to make everything adorable will make the zombie invasion less threatening.

CON: “They Died Adorably” still not all that warming an epitaph.

FINAL GRADE: C+

PRO: Ultimate organizer. Kelly Sue writes comics while raising a family, and probably patrolling the streets of Portland Oregon for criminals. She’ll be the nurturing anchor who still kicks down the door and uses one shotgun blast to decapitate seven zombies.

CON: Her unfortunate choice of a war cry (“Hey! Zombies! Over here!“) might attract undue attention.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: He’s a bit insane, but in the good way.

CON: Warren will likely attempt to organize zombies into a cult, making you responsible for beer, cheese, and brains during the meeting.

FINAL GRADE: C

PRO: Dude, you’ll be drunk all the time. Party!

CON: Hey! Who’s at the door? Zombies? Let ’em in! Why? Because party!

FINAL GRADE: What? Dude I’m so drunk.

PRO: One of the most innovative minds in all literature. Turning Matt’s mind against the zombies will result in the most intriguing scenarios possible, with out-of-the-box events occurring at rapid speed, endlessly puzzling the zombies.

CON: Zombies really only want to eat your brains. And they’re already puzzled. No need to make this complicated. Save that for when the vampires attack.

FINAL GRADE: C

PRO: Sublime of thought. Will help you remain calm in even the most dangerous of situations.

CON: “Calm” not always as handy as “running away while screaming.”

FINAL GRADE: B-

PRO: Being Jack Kirby.

CON: Not applicable.

FINAL GRADE: A+, you zombie mother-fuckers.

PRO: The man knows his zombies. He DAMN WELL knows his zombies.

CON: Zombie exposure skyrocketed after Walking Dead, meaning all the zombies will swarm him for autographs, brains.

FINAL GRADE: B+

PRO: You might as well team up with him, he’s going to make a guest-appearance anyway.

CON: His “nuff said” is always a lie.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: You get magic. Fuck… yeahmagic.

CON: Alan might be curious how you’d reincarnate.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: Look at that smooth-ass bad motherfucker. Don’t you want that on your side?

CON: If he gets bitten, that smooth-ass bad motherfucker is on the other team. Do you want that on the other team?

FINAL GRADE: A (human version)  F- (zombie version)

PRO: Multi-talented skills will allow Greg to act as a leader in many situations, and also to film the battles for future generations.

CON: Your video of slipping in dog poo three different times during a failed escape attempt from the zombie hordes will definitely go viral.

FINAL GRADE: C+

PRO: He has a boat. That’s what you need. You need a boat.

CON: Has to run a few errands before he brings the boat around.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: He will bring the booze. You will for damn sure need the booze.

CON: Impressive forehead obviously foretells enormous and yummy brain, meaning the zombies will be arriving in buses to swarm him.

FINAL GRADE: Booze +

PRO: Look at that fist! Picture a machete in it. Gail can lop off zombie heads with the best of them.

CON: Likely to get distracted by using chainsaw to lop buttocks off from zombie internet commenters. Good fun, but not wise when the hordes are massing.

FINAL GRADE: C+

PRO: Dan is relentlessly cheerful, and has mastered the Zorro double-handed whip that pops off zombie heads like they ain’t nothing but walking Pez dispensers.

CON: Will steal your soda. And you were gonna drink that.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: Godzilla.

CON: Not really Godzilla.

FINAL GRADE: Godzilla.

PRO: One of the sweetest men I know.

CON: The zombies will think so too.

FINAL GRADE: C

PRO: In the provided image, Mark is displaying his double-handed zombie decapitating chop. Undead heads will be flying like rice at a wedding.

CON: Collateral damage during Mark’s Flying Fists of Flaming Fury finishing move can be problematic.

FINAL GRADE: B

PRO: He will make everything so beautiful. So beautiful.

CON: If zombies don’t have an interesting, powerful, and cinematic leader, Joss will damn sure make one.

FINAL GRADE: B-

PRO: The man has infinite energy, and is another member of the “Pitch n’ Bitch” crew, meaning you’ll get extra support with Josh on your team.

CON: Every time he poses for an action picture, he has a wry smile on his face. Zombies know that wry brains are delicious, like Lucky Charms cereal.

FINAL GRADE: C

PRO: Bill has written over twelve thousand issues of Fables, marking him as a man who will do what it takes, day in and day out, to survive. You’ll need that kind of consistent hard-working dedication to remain sane when the zombies are at your compound’s gate for years on end.

CON: Often thinks the zombies are right.

FINAL GRADE: C

So… there you have it. Jack Kirby wins again! If you see a zombie, you’ll know who to call. And, sorry if I forgot to mention your favorite writers, leaving you to wonder about their zombie-fighting status. I can tell you this, though; they ain’t no Jack Kirby.

 

 

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Free Bandette / Pimento story… by Jennifer Meyer

It's time for another free story!

TODAY! Huzzah and Presto! It’s the fourth free installment of Bandette’s Urchin Stories! Each of these stories is written by me, and then illustrated by some of my favorite artists (and I have pretty good taste).

In this one, Bandette’s dog, Pimento, stars in “Good Boy!” … illustrated by the super-most splendid Jennifer Meyer!

What story lurks beneath this adorable image? You'll have to spend NOTHING to find out!

This free strip is wagging its tail, waiting impatiently for you to read it at MonkeyBrainComics.com! Also be sure to read the other Urchin Stories, “Signs”, with art by Steve Lieber, and “A Hint From Heloise”drawn by Tina Kim! Also… the Three Ballerinas star in “The Call” drawn by Jonathan Case!

If you missed the link above, here is where you can click to get the story… FOR FREE!

But, please, I do not understand. Are not ALL things free?


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More FREE Bandette!

Your free pass is sponsored by the new "iBelieve" (tm) technology. You have to merely think that you want this Bandette short story to be free, and then it will be. Offer not valid on thinking of other things you wish were free, like groceries, rent, and the phone number of that barista you've been eyeing like a moonstruck puppydog.

TODAY! The third bonus Bandette: Urchin Stories!

The Three Ballerinas star in “The Call” written by me and drawn by Jonathan Case, creator of of Sea Freak and artist for The Green River Killer and The Creep!

This free new strip is up and just waiting for you to read it at MonkeyBrainComics.com! Also be sure to read the other two Urchin Stories, “Signs”, with art by Steve Lieber, and “A Hint From Heloise”drawn by Tina Kim!

Because it was a strip concerning the 3 Ballerinas, I wanted an artist talented at drawing the ladies. I went with Jonathan Case. I did well. He did well. Well, well, well!

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Me: Seattle: Convention: Just the FACTS

FACT: I'm going to be at the Emerald City Comic Convention this weekend.

FACT: All ostriches are creepy.

FACT: I... I... awww, man. That's adorable.

FACT: You will be sad if you miss this show!

FACT: I usually try not to be a dick at conventions, so you might as well say, "Hello!"

FACT: All creators are like this.

FACT: I'll be signing at the Dark Horse booth at 2:00 on Saturday.

FACT: I'll have a table with the rest of the merry ol' Periscope crowd, the studio of which I'm a part. Our tables are 2621/2627

FACT: I'm not sure about that last fact, actually, as the maps are a bit confusing, and in the words of my fellow Periscoper Ron Chan, "The ECCC website says that Periscope island are booths 2621/2627. I'm fairly certain that is actually wrong, and that it should actually say 2621/2617, as 2617 is actually the booth adjacent to 2621, and I don't see a 2627 anywhere on the floor map." So I might have lied to you about that last one being a fact.

Sorry.

 

 

 

 

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My Three Favorite Metaphorical Children

Show us your Hype Dance!

As a writer, I begin to hype my favorite projects whenever I take too many or too few of my special pills, and today is one of those days. SOOOOO….

COLDER is available at the goodest of comic stores.

PREPARE TO DIE! is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all fine bookstores.

BANDETTE is available online from the wonderful folks at ComiXology.

And here’s a little peek at each of em….

BANDETTE! This year Colleen and I started the adventures of Bandette, an artful dodger, a thief, a teen girl who fights crime (sort of) with pluck and presto!
BANDETTE! It’s the adventures of Bandette, an artful dodger, a thief, a teen girl who fights crime (sort of) with pluck and presto!
At heart… it’s an adventure comic. There’s not that many adventure comics out there, and I love to read them, so Colleen Coover and I took it upon ourselves to MAKE one.
And then there’s my other type of writing. Well, one of my other types of writing. I love to write horror books as well. Right now, Juan Ferreyra and I are releasing our creator-owned series Colder at Dark Horse Comics. Above is one my all time favorite characters to write, the insane bastard known as Nimble Jack.
Look! Doesn’t the cover of the first issue just put a warm spot in your heart? Group hug, everybody!

Yes. Let. Us. Hug. It. Out.

And… OH LOOK! Paul does prose real goodly too! I’m super proud of this novel, and it’s been receiving rave reviews across the board (Publisher’s Weekly, Barnes & Noble, etc, etc) and I’m certainly going to be doing more novels. Some day a meteor will hit you. You know that, right? Do you want your last thought on Earth to be, “Oh shit! METEOR!” Me either. That has nothing to do with this book. It really IS a good book, though.

Here’s them links again!

COLDER is available at the goodest of comic stores.

PREPARE TO DIE! is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all fine bookstores.

BANDETTE is available online from the wonderful folks at ComiXology.

Average readers of my writing. JOIN THEM.

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Cartoonists Model Socks

I know that it’s terribly cliche for cartoonists to model socks, but here’s yet another batch of cartoonists modeling them, including me. The photos come from SOCK DREAMS (the company that makes half of my studio shiver with near orgasmic glee) after they stopped by Periscope Studio (aka: Studio That Paul Belongs To) and we did us some modeling. I can only say I’m sorry for spreading SO MUCH SEXY on your computer screens.

That's my bald head in the 2nd panel. And the dog is Sally, who is our unofficial mascot, and who ghost-writes about half my comics.

That ol' Periscope gang of mine. Look how well we model socks! I'm right there in the middle of it, rocking the "lights shining off my head" look. I wish you could see how awesome the socks I'm modeling are. Also, hey "Why Aren't There More Women In Comics?" people... note the look of Periscope Studios, please. There are a LOT of women in comics. There just aren't a lot of women doing comics of the type that women don't generally care about. It's like saying, "Why aren't there more women in competitive ball-scratching?"

This scares me. Probably going to use this as an author photo for my horror titles.

 

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Blackhawk Speaks Truth

Huh, indeed, Blackhawk. Huh, indeed.

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A Lesson On The Creative Process

It just really needs to be kept in mind.

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