So… as many of you know, I’ll be writing Bionic Woman, working with Dynamite in order to bring the adventures of Jaime Sommers to life. Incidentally, it IS Jaime, not Jamie, as I see around from time to time.
I'm Jaime, dammit. Do not make me go all na-na-nannana on your ass.
Here's the cover for our first issue. As you can see, artist Paul Renaud has captured the... uhh... hold on a second. Bit of a snafu, here.
HERE we go. The cover of our first issue, by Paul Renaud.
Let's bring in an image of Lindsay Wagner to read the official rundown of our first storyline. "Paris is the city of love? Not anymore... not since Jaime Sommers, the Bionic Woman, came to town hot on the trail of the Mission, a collection of insanely high-priced surgeons who've been murdering OSI's bionic prototypes in order to provide new life for billionaire patients. But while the Bionic Woman is hunting the Mission, their #1 hunter is after her! Can Jaime pick up the pieces of her past while protecting her life in the present, or will the city of love turn its back, and its bullets, on the Bionic Woman? Acclaimed writer Paul Tobin brings you a tale of baguettes, bullets, and bionic badass!"
Yes. Everyone. You can slow down with the emails. I have plans to eventually deal with the Fembots.
Here’s a Fembots television commercial to tide us all over until the Fembots show up.
We’re going to be dealing with extensions of the original television show, for the most part. We’re going classic with the Bionic Woman, but there are quite a few surprises on the way. In celebration of the original television series, I was GOING to drop in the original theme opening, but… couldn’t get the damn thing to embed, and, to be frank, it was kind of boring. So, instead, here’s one of the greatest opening sequences in television history… the opening to Mission Impossible.
And here… a BONUS. A catchy song about the fembots, by the Swedish popstar, Robyn.
So, yes… don’t worry, there are fembots waiting for us down the road. Who doesn’t love fembots? I’ve got plans for them, plans being seeded in the 1st storyline, so pay attention. Speaking of the 1st storyline, I wish I could officially show you some art, but right now it’s all secret, so instead, I’m going to wrap up this post by going through a selection of some of the classic toys from the era of the first television show. And there were a LOT of them. I’m barely going to touch on them, here.
A selection of the Jaime Sommers dolls. There were many more of them. Many many more of them.
I'm rather fascinated by how many different cloths you could buy for the Jaime Sommers dolls. This is just a selection of a broader group. And, don't worry, I've extensively studied them and am passing along reference to the artist!
Here's one of my favorites. Jaime is a schoolteacher, so here's her classroom! And what's GREAT about it? Well... she has written "Call OSI" right there on her chalkboard, so her students can ask her, "What's OSI?" And then she can answer, "Why, it's the Office of Strategic Intelligence. Headquartered in Washington, DC. It's semi-secret, although there ARE some VERY classified aspects, such as the bionic program. Oops! I have to kill you all now. My bad."
They spent the equivalent of 75 million dollars (in today's money) creating the Bionic Man, and they spent MORE on the Bionic Woman, but they couldn't buy Oscar a desk with some god-damn leg room.
More of the old Charlton comics. I love this shit.
Why should I buy a car that's clearly defective? I can see from the image that it has no brakes, as Jaime is having to stick her legs out and stop the vehicle. Maybe it's like one of those old Fred Flintstone cars?
I'm not sure how much fun could have been had with this... BUT... I love the part of the packaging where...
... Jaime is just straight up cartoon bitch-slapping a man through a wall.
This one never went into actual production in America, but it did make it out in a couple other areas of the world. It's the Jaime Sommers shower set, where all pretense of "I won't be stripping this doll naked" is entirely discarded. Bravo!
Anyway… the point is… I’m writing Bionic Woman, and I’m having a blast doing so, and I hope you all come along for the ride. She’s a great character, and Dynamite and I are doing some good comics, here.
And, you don't want to miss the fembot storyline, DO you?