Top Ten Insane People: A “Colder” countdown: #10: Pythagoras

I’ve been thinking about insanity a lot of late, and it’s not just because my current workload has me actually SCHEDULING thinking up plots during my morning showers. No… it’s because Colder, my creator-owned series in tandem with the handsome / talented Juan Ferreyra, will be released on November 7th from the lovable people at Dark Horse Comics.

And Colder is both about insanity, and also a bit insane.

Does this man look sane to you?

So… yes. I’ve been thinking about insanity. Because of that, I’ve decided to do a countdown of my current top ten favorite insane people. And this list is going to focus on the “wacky eccentric” type of crazy, rather than the much less amusing Ed Gein / Hitler / subhuman folks.  We’re starting with Pythagoras and moving down to NUMBER ONE. Who will number one be? Oh, the suspense! The drama! Can you guess?  (hint: it’s Declan… the main character from Colder, because this is my blog)

But enough of my REALLY CREEPY horror comic that you can buy… let’s talk about Pythagoras.

Hell YEAH! Let's grab some ladies n' start talking 'bout triangles n' theorems and get our hypotenuse ON!

Okay. We all know who Pythagoras is, right? People who read my blog are without doubt, highly educated, absinthe-drinking monocle-wearing scholars, so there’s probably no reason to point out that this guy is credited with HUGE advances in philosophy, health, mathematics, and general science as a whole. Seriously, this guy was a science PLAYER, and if he were alive in today’s world, he’d be so well known and idolized that he might even be be on page 10 of a newspaper, right after all the articles on if Miley Cyrus had a nip-slip or Beyonce might have farted… because we in America revere our scientists THAT much.

Oop. Got political, there. The important to remember is that this guy lived over 2500 years ago and we’re STILL teaching concepts that he thought up. So… good on ya, Pythagoras!

Oh, also… guy was batshit. Just… batshit.

Names hurt, Paul. They HURT.

 

 

 

You see, Thaggy (his friends called him Thaggy, you knew that, right?) founded his own religion, based on how he saw the world, and how he thought people should act. Now, founding a religion based on how YOU think everybody should act, and then naming it after yourself (Pythagoreanism, in this case) in this case would be considered the act of a crazy man by some people, but, umm. Nah. Got nothing. That’s a crazy thing to do. After all, that’s why I order all my sackcloth-wearing Tobinites to stay away from false idols!

But it wasn’t just that he was making up his own religion, let’s take a peek at some of Thaggy’s beliefs.

Here's some beans. I can hear you asking, "Paul, why am I looking at an image of beans?" Well... you're not just looking at an image of beans; you're looking at an image of EVIL. Pythagoras believed that no one should ever eat a bean. In fact, these things were SO horrible, that you shouldn't ever physically come into contact with one. If you were at war with Thaggy, you could have planted a bean field around your house and been done with it.

But… enough of beans, lest I taint you all with their very image. Let’s get to something a little… easier on the eyes, shall we?

Oh yeah! NOW we're talking. What a beautiful lady! I hope you all approve. And... you're welcome. Also... she's Pythagoras. I know, I know, right now I can almost HEAR you all thinking, "I wonder how much longer I can get away with reading this article before my boss catches me not working?" But... don't worry. I'm keeping this one short. Now... where was I? Oh yeah! Naked lady. You see Pythagoras believed HEAVILY in reincarnation. And he was "aware" of some of his past lives, such as the one where he fought in the Trojan War, and the one where he was a beautiful courtesan. Yep. You read that right. Pythagoras had a strong belief that he'd once been a beautiful "temple girl." I love how people's past lives are always so interesting. "Yep. I done fought in the Trojan War and danged if I wasn't also a BEAUTIFUL courtesan-lady. My only regret is that I was born too early to be Abraham Lincoln. YET."

There’s a lot more, but… can he top the beans and the courtesan thing? No. No, he can’t. Let’s close this one out with a couple looks at Juan Ferreyra’s art from our upcoming Colder series.

Two of the main characters, Reece and Declan. Also... a bonus crazy guy that isn't Pythagoras, but you can pretend if you want to..

The same panel, after Juan did some colorin' magic. I couldn't be happier than I am with Juan's art. The last time I can remember being so happy was back when I was a beautiful French courtesan in a lesbian relationship with Marie Antoinette. (feel free to write fan fic)

 

 

2 Comments

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2 Responses to Top Ten Insane People: A “Colder” countdown: #10: Pythagoras

  1. Dean

    No-one ever seems to have a a past life where they were a peasant who died of dysentery, or anything like that.

    I’m crossing my fingers that Emperor Norton makes the top 5!

  2. Paul Tobin

    I know, right? If I DID have past lives, I’m sure I died cowering while rats at my face. Oh… and Norton may indeed be making an appearance. I basically grabbed my top ten and am doing them chronologically, though. Sort of. I think I messed that part up.

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