I've never known how barren my life was until I saw this 1970's advertisement for "Fabulous TV Detective Scissors." Who WOULDN'T want a pair of Columbo scissors? And Harry O? Sure! Kojak, Quincy, Rockford, Banacek and McCloud! I want the whole damn series. Sadly... I've been unable to find proof that these scissors ever actually existed, in which case Kafka was right and I can feel the abyss staring back at me.