Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 25: Scarlet Witch

I’ve been thinking about women, lately. Women characters in comics. Women creators in comics. Female characters in literature. And pretty girls riding around on bicycles or walking along the sidewalk, etc, etc. Because of this, I’ve decided to make An Entirely Useless List. Why is it entirely useless? Because it’s my top 25 female characters from comics and literature, and such lists change at whim and at a breakneck pace. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to quantify favorites… the term favorite is far too malleable. A list of my best friends from high school, for instance, would not include anyone with whom I’m currently in contact. Times change. Still… I’m making the list. Why? I suppose I just like thinking about women.

An MRI scan of the interior of my brain.

So… the list begins.

Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 25: The SCARLET WITCH

You might note that the above image isn’t one of the Scarlet Witch wearing what amounts to a red bikini and a cape, waving her boobs and butt at the viewer. That lack of T & A is going to continue through the full extent of this list, because I’m NOT in favor of the “naughty” versions of all these character. These women don’t have to thrust out their girlie parts in order for me to note that they’re female. And, do people not ALREADY understand that these women are sexy? Do artists sit around thinking, “Hmmm, this women is intelligent, charming, interesting, powerful, very feminine, and dressed in an intriguing outfit. Now… how should I make her SEXY?” So… no. I won’t be adding any images of Supergirl pantie shots, or of Nancy Drew being spanked.

First appearance of the Scarlet Witch in Uncanny X-Men # 4. She was an original member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, but was a reluctant villain from the start. I've always kind of wondered how the Scarlet Witch and her brother Quicksilver didn't understand they were on the wrong side. I mean, if someone came up to me and asked me to join the Brotherhood of Evil Comic Book Writers, I would have to wonder just what some of our club activities might entail.

I suppose what I find interesting about the Scarlet Witch is the “bad girl” reformation (why are we all such SUCKERS for that trope?) and also the sheer unpredictability of her powers. I honestly wish writers would make more of that unpredictability, make her powers a bit quirkier. And… another thing that I like (or did like, when I was first reading, for it’s long since been destroyed) is…

... how she was dating a robot. I am by no means a literary scholar, but I can't think there have been too many "mutant witch dates robot with semi-human brain" pairings in the past. It was an odd relationship, and that made it fun to watch grow... especially in light of the jealousy from the Scarlet Witch's brother... the man known (to me) as... Dicksilver.

That’s it for this installment. I’m not going to go into huge posts for each of these women, because I’m really only making a list, here… not trying to fill up a wikipedia page or the stats on the back of a trading card, or detailing the exact reasons why these women would love me, for sure, if, you know… they were real.


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4 Responses to Favorite Female Characters in Literature # 25: Scarlet Witch

  1. I hereby request that you not only join, but help me co-found, the Brotherhood of Evil Comic Book Writers. Our activities will include writing comic books and living. You see, the “evil” part is a trick…it’s just an anagram!

  2. Paul Tobin

    Well, I WOULD help found the group, but if we aren’t going to be evil, I just don’t see the point. Words have POWER, Jim! We would be foolish not to USE that power!

  3. Dean

    Smart move, decrying the use of T&Ariffic art, while including the words ‘Nancy Drew being spanked’ to ensure a high Google search ranking. Kudos!

    I think Jeff Parker’s version of the Scarlet Witch is my favorite.

  4. Paul Tobin

    Jeff’s version of almost any character is my favorite!

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